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Friday, February 24, 2012

Just You Wait..

I feel like so many people are negative about babies.
When people come over and meet Tai for the first time (mostly people who are parents already) they always ask what is wrong with my baby.
"He doesn't cry.." (Nope, he is pretty calm.)
"Why isn't he fussy?" (He's just a content baby.)
"I bet you are so tired from staying up all night." (No, he wakes, starts babbling, I feed him and he falls asleep.)
"Do you guys have to constantly walk him around to get him to stop crying?" (This has never happened.)
"Do you have to burp him every ounce he eats? How many times does he burp before he is calm?" (Huh?)

The fact is (knock on wood) I really do have an angel baby. He has never cried for an extended amount of time. If he starts getting upset, I know what he needs and can comfort him without getting up, moving around or bouncing him to make him feel better. He is a peaceful little boy and he is patient with his parents.

I can set him down on a pillow or his seat or on the bed and he just lays there and watches me clean or get ready. I can lay him down next to me and cuddle him to sleep, or put him in his bed and he just sits and looks around till he gets tired.

Last night our friend Brian was over holding baby while I tidied the kitchen. He gave him a bottle for me and Tai fell asleep after eating. Brian took him into his room and put him in his bassinet. I went in to check on him a half  hour later and he was wide awake, smiling up at me, playing with his hands. He hadn't made a single peep. That's just my child.

Now comes my frustration.

After people hold him or play with him, they inevitably ask what is wrong with him. Because he is TOO easy. And then they start saying "just you wait."

Wait...Till he gets colic and screams non-stop.
Wait...Till he won't go to sleep and you can't sleep either.
Wait...Till you can never put him down because he only wants to be held.
Wait...Till he refuses to sleep on his own.

"This means he will be a horrible toddler. Just wait."
"You are in for it with your next baby, he will raise hell."
"It's a sign he will be a really difficult teenager, you poor thing."

This happened during my pregnancy too. I felt like everyone was spouting a doom tree over me. From the tortures of non sleep to the battles of bottles, people would tell me "it's the hardest thing you will ever do, your life will never be the same, say goodbye to freedom."

Seriously?

I know motherhood isn't easy. But it is WORTH IT. Colton and I had a long hard battle to get where we are with our relationship, our home and our families. We deserved to have a little boy who brought nothing but joy to our lives. We already knew the stress, the changes, the difficulties.

What we needed was to be reminded how amazing parenthood really is.

So that's what my advice to you is. If you are a mom, let other mom's know it will all work out.
Let them know how much you love your kids, and how much they mean to you.
If they ask for advice, be honest with them, but don't scare them so they are "prepared."

We (as parents) all need to stop throwing in the negative.

Let's focus on saying "Just you wait."

Wait until that first time you hold him, you will find a love you never knew possible.
Wait until he grabs your finger and holds on tight.
Wait until you realize that your hugs are the best kind of medicine.
Wait until his first smile, it's amazing.
Wait until you see the love that little baby will bring to your family.

Let's give new mom's some hope. Let's let them learn things for themselves and not doom them to pain and anguish "eventually." Let's remind them that through all the stress, there is so so much happiness.  Let's let them enjoy the moment with their babies, without being scared of what is coming.

We all know what is coming:

More happiness than you could ever ever imagine.

Just you wait.

4 comments:

  1. I couldn't agree more Mary! I absolutely hate when people try to tell me what to do as a mother or that my kid isn't doing what he should be (like walking at 1 when your child is almost 15 months and not walking, and only has 2 teeth when most babies have at least 4 to 6). Every child is different so people need to stop comparing...drives me crazy!

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  2. AMEN!!! I literally have a post just like this from when my kid was a baby. I get so sick of hearing it all. It can be hard to be different when you're around it constantly. Sometimes I just wanted to say "well sucks to be you...my baby's perfect!" :) maybe it will get harder, but what's wrong with enjoying the present??

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  3. Yep I know how you feel because up until a couple months ago my baby was the same way. Quiet, Happy...Now that she has found her voice she is never quiet but she is still the sweetest, and apparently one of the calmest babies. I love it. I'm grateful for it to.

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