1 Week Old

Dear Tai,

You are officially 1 week old today. I can't believe it.
It feels like yesterday that daddy put you in my arms and said "he's beautiful babe."
Makes me teary a little bit, all that time spent lying awake in the hospital just staring at you, knowing you were ours forever, no matter what.

It was amazing learning to breastfeed you, even though it was a struggle to get you to latch on, especially with my incision pain and being in hospital bed connected to wires.

I got so frustrated with everyone always grabbing at me and trying to position you right. I still have trouble.
Now we are basically just pumping milk and feeding you bottles. It makes me feel guilty, I don't know why.
I just feel so bad when I can't position you to latch. My hands are small and my breasts are HUGE and hurt from all the milk and it just makes us both end up in tears, frustrated.

At least this way, I know you are getting the nutrition you need, and you never get frustrated.

You are such a good baby. You haven't shed a single tear in three days. When you are hungry you just make noises and nuzzle mom. I burp you. Change you. Put you to bed. If you don't settle immediately, I burp you again. Sometimes you fuss when daddy changes your diaper, but usually you just grunt and give him the stink eye.

We can't believe we got so lucky to have such a peaceful angel join our family. You are all funny faces and big navy blue eyes. You suck on a pacifier until you are ready to sleep and then you spit it out and immediately close your eyes. Sometimes you grab it with your hand and pull it out and put it back in over and over. I can't believe you are doing that at a week old, it's amazing.

We ended up doing your laundry in the sink yesterday, you seem to be peeing or pooping through everything right now. Grandma Duke hand washed all your little things and hung them to dry. We have gone through all your newborn clothes and are starting over again now that they are washed.

You sleep with mom for most of your naps (I need the rest too.) And at bedtime you are right next to me. Daddy tries to pretend he cares and tells me off, but he knows we both sleep better when you are by me. I'm just so attached right now I don't want to leave you in another room. Plus it's really cold in our back rooms, there's no heater and the windows are really drafty, so I worry about you getting too cold. Either way, I hate when people tell me to make you sleep alone. The research on co-sleeping actually shows happier moms and babies. Less risk of SIDS (by four times). Better sleep. In fact countries where co-sleeping is the "norm" have virtually no SIDS, because mom's respond to their babies faster.

So for now, this little family sleeps together, and we are happy. (Your dad cuddles with mom and mom watches over you, dad is afraid of squishing you so you go on my side.)

Dad is so in love with you. He is constantly peeking at you and kissing you and telling you how beautiful you are. He calls you "lovey" and "sweetie" and "honey" and then feels funny because you are a dude ;) So mom just pretends not to hear. He gets up in the middle of the night to change you, and never ever complains, then he brings you back to mom with your warm bottle of milk and goes back to sleep. Mom is spoiled.

Dad also says that he is happy because mom "likes him again." I feel so much better, even with incision pain and cramping, I feel 100 times better than when I was pregnant with you. I have more energy, can walk around better, and it's not a huge task to get up or shower or anything. I'm glad for that because I was terrified I wouldn't be able to do this!

This also means i'm more patient with daddy, who helps out around the house a lot and takes good care of us.      He really likes having his love back. :)

We are excited for so many things to come with you. Especially sharing you with our friends and family. Mom can't wait until your belly button heals and her incision heals (one week) so we can take warm baths together. Dad is excited to watch you become more playful so he can have his buddy to entertain.

Thank you for being such an angel and blessing. We love having you in our home and love being a family. You are the best thing to happen to us, ever.