Getting There/Big News!

I am really proud of my little family and all that we have accomplished in the last year. Sometimes my husband makes the comment that we are just "rolling our wheels" and I have to remind him how much we have really accomplished. I just wanted to share a little bit of what we are doing, and how we are moving forward. I am really proud of where we are at.

In February 2012 we had our little boy, and he completely changed our world upside down. After a few months in Cedar City, we made the hard decision to move back to Heber to be closer to both of our families. The hardest part of this decision (besides leaving great friends) was knowing that I would be leaving without my Bachelors degree, even though I was one semester away. Sometimes I regret this decision, because regardless we will probably have to relocate in order for me to finish- or drive the canyon daily for several months.

That being said, we are in a much better financial position than we were in Cedar City. Granted, I work full time, and so does Colton, but things aren't so scary tight all the time, and we actually get to go out and enjoy ourselves.

In the past year we have paid off over $14,000 in credit card debt, student loans, vehicles and our two rings. This was on an income of $23,000. We have our car left to pay off, which we recently refinanced to be $50 less a month at a lower interest rate (yay for good credit!) and we have a student loan in Colton's name which should be gone by the time he starts SCHOOL!

 Colton and I have worked really really hard to pay off debt and to get our credit scores high and keep them that way. We recently found out about a program that will allow us to BUILD our own HOME in Heber, and we are beyond stoked. It finally has made all of our hard work to pay down debt, and be away from our little guy worth it. If all goes well, we will sign papers within the next few months, and begin building shortly after.

If you have low debt, good credit, but low income, this might be the perfect program for you, they base your payments off of your income, and you put in "sweat equity" (35 hours a week) to build your own home.  The website is selfhelphomes.org 

I'm sure a lot of people are thinking, there's no way, or that we are foolish for building a home before my husband is even done with school, but the fact is, our rent payment is the same, we will always be paying rent so we might as well put it towards something. Along with that, its a brand new house in the middle of the Heber Valley-one of the most desired and expensive real estate locations in the state. The yard will get completely finished, and it will be around 3000 square feet. The interest rate is 3.1 percent-lower than any bank can offer, and we feel like we would be foolish not to try. This home can be our entire future and the best investment we will ever make.

As of March 1st, we had passed all of the pre-qualification, and met all of the income guidelines. Then because Colton was working a job considered "Seasonal" we got held up because they won't count it as income. So our next step is starting him in another position with the same kind of job, and after 3 months we will be good to go. He has had 2 interviews already, and has another one today, so we are hoping good things will happen with those.

We are super excited about this opportunity, but things are still in the beginning stages, and we are trying to sort out or goals with school before we do anything else. 

Colton is looking at going back to school for the summer semester (he hasn't been back since 2010 when we went to Snow together) and finishing his Associates degree. After that, he wants to pursue a nursing degree. Colton is an extremely smart kid who has a real passion for helping people, and I know he can do this. A lot of people think he should just take up a trade, or hard labor, but I know that he can do this. School is hard, but he is entirely, 110 percent smart enough to do it.

As soon as he finishes his associates in Heber I will go back to school with him for a Semester and get my Bachelors. With a nursing degree, Colton can really work anywhere he wants, and we can decide from there our next move.

Good things are coming to us and we are so excited!

SICK.

We have had quite the winter season, it seems like we have been sick NON-STOP. Has anyone else felt this way? We have gotten every single strain of bug/cold/flu/virus to come around.

I took for granted being sick and only having to worry about myself. It is so hard to have a baby, and feel so gross, and be worried about passing it on to him. Since Colton can't take time off very easily, I'm usually the one calling in after being up all night with a sick baby.

I always feel guilty complaining about how hard it is to have a sick baby when you are sick, or even just a regular baby when you are sick. And if I say something about it there are always  people who say "be grateful you HAVE a baby." And let me tell you that drives me crazy. I love my son, I love him with all my heart. But when he is sitting on the bathroom floor watching me puke my guts out and grabbing my hair/trying to put his hands in the toilet-and I'm too weak to lift him, it is EXTREMELY hard.

To the people accusing me of not being grateful-I am grateful. That doesn't stop it from being hard. The same could be said for someone complaining of a dirty house (at least you have a house) or never seeing their husband (at least he has a great job.) I think that we need to not take things personally when other people vent. We can be grateful for our trials, and still have them be hard.

Anyways...

I have had to call into work/cancel plans/sit at home a LOT this winter. I call into work, or comment that Tai is sick or that I am sick to someone, I feel like people think I'm a bad mom or I'm unhealthy or that I'm faking it.

"That kid is always sick."

You are right. He is. It's been a bad luck winter.

He is still clean, he still gets fed healthy meals, he still gets fresh air to play outside, he just catches EVERYTHING that goes around.  

I have no idea why we keep getting sick, other than that a lot of crap is going around this season, and I'm exposed to it at work, Tai is exposed to it at the sitters, etc. Even worse is that we usually are sick at different times, I get it, so I'm home, a week later Tai has it, so I'm home again, and then (rarely) Colton will get it for maybe a day. I don't even understand how it happens that Tai and I pass it back and forth and Colton stays healthy. It makes working full time so freaking hard, especially in the winter season where there is no one to cover for me-and I refuse to send Tai to daycare if he is sick at all.

I've started taking large amounts of vitamin C, and chugging airborne and Emergen-C. I even diffused essential oils all over my house through candle warmers and humidifiers. And still we get sick! Our house is new, so it's not mold, its clean and sanitary, and I'm a compulsive hand washer. I just don't get it!

Please tell me that everyone else has had an awful winter, and it's not just me and my horrible immune system.

I literally just popped a vitamin C at my desk at work.

I am SO sick and tired of being sick and tired :-) and also I hate snow. You people who are like "YESSSSSSSSSSSS bring on the Snow, in November, and then are like I am so done with Snow bring on the heat in March." No. Just No. Pick a side.

I am ALWAYS done with Snow. Always.

I hate driving in it, I hate touching it, I hate being cold, I don't do winter sports. Nope Nope Nope.

I ONLY like winter for it's hot chocolate properties. MMMMM.

A few sick shots to follow. (And a picture of my desk, Vitamin C, right next to my pens and pencils.)

Stepford Mom

I don't even know how to begin this post, I have so many things on my mind. So I guess I'll just say I have a few realizations. Never say never.

You know how when you are in high school, or early college, and you say, man. When I am married, I will NEVER do that. I will always look cute or my husband. I will always dress up and have a nice dinner on the table, my house will be clean and cozy and CUTE, and we will go on cute dates, and we will be fun.

And then when I'm pregnant, I will be the cutest pregnant lady. I won't be mean and I won't be ornery and I will keep doing my hair and I will NOT let myself go. I will lose all of that pregnancy weight and be a super cute mom, who looks so put together. A sexy mama!

And my baby will always be in a clean outfit, and his nose will always be wiped, and he will NEVER be seen running around in a saggy diaper. And I will make him good food, and he won't have screen time, and he will be happy, and secure, and I will make it look easy.

It is not easy.

Because, you see, babies pull hair-so you put it up, and they still pull it, so its all over the place. And tears happen, and spit up happens, and you get food in your hair, and on your once "cute" clothes. So you change into sweats-because lets be honest you aren't going anywhere in this state.

They get teeth, and scream when you wipe their nose, and you are wiping so often that their noses are red, and they get mad and wipe their noses on you to the point where you honestly don't care if it runs a little.  And they find food on the floor, and they take the food, and mush it up, and wipe it on your fresh sweatpants (which is the WORST.)

So you have a runny nosed baby in a diaper, and your hair is frazzled, and you are wearing dirty sweats, and dinner isn't ready, because runny nosed child has been screaming at your feet. And now you are sitting on the couch, watching the baby channel, breathing in the semi-quiet, and your husband comes in. And says something like "what did you do all day?"

At that point you basically say, screw you, I don't want to look cute or cook for you anyways, and then the whole day is justified.

Phew.

I see the moms with the skinny jeans and the knee high boots and the lace top, with perfect makeup and perfect curled hair, and I think I'm doing it wrong. But I'm not. I'm just doing it differently. There are a lot of days my kitchen is a mess, and my makeup is 2 days old, and my hair is in a messy, frazzled bun, and I think I'm completely screwing up this mom/wife/human thing.

Is it just me?

I feel like slowly I have realized that its not so important to look perfect, sometimes the best day means having a messy house and a happy kid. I would rather look disheveled, and have spent a day playing with my one year old than to have a perfectly presentable appearance and a kid stuck in front of a TV.

I admire you moms who can do it all, and manage to cook a big meal and have a clean house and happy kids. I'm working on it. I budget at work, I put together meal plans and grocery shop (in sweats, more often than not.) I bake cookies on my day off, and mop the floor...sometimes. I try hard to improve each day, even just a little bit.

I feel like some days, when I make huge efforts and I feel really accomplished (and tired.) I should get a mom metal-and then I smack myself a little because I remember, this is what I should do every single day. Tai was sick a few days ago, and I managed to keep him clean, clean my kitchen, wash the towels he threw up on, and snuggle him into oblivion. And I felt ACCOMPLISHED. Totally ridiculous right? My bed wasn't made (my mother in law would die ;)) My laundry was jam packed, and my toilets needed some major love, but I did what I could.

I know it's the day to day, little by little improvements, and realizations, and <rants> that build good moms. So to all of you moms, ESPECIALLY the young, new ones like me, thanks. You inspire me to be a better mom. On days I am feeling down, I see you went on a hike, or you cleaned your house, or you did a craft, or you made dinner. And I know I can be a little bit better tomorrow.

One One ONE

Dear Tai,

You are one.
You are walking a little (or falling in style.)
You give kisses when asked. (They are an open mouthed "MAH")
You love Toy Story and will watch it for HOURS.
You sleep through the night, though you have to be right between mommy and daddy.
You love your Grandparents (both sides) and they SPOIL you.
You love puppy dogs, and animals, and anything soft and fluffy.
You know when you are being "naughty" and run from mom and dad.
You cry out to "dada" when he leaves for work, and give big smiles to mommy when she picks you up.
You have some good friends that you wrestle with, Kru Kirkland, Christopher "Giddy" Gogan, and Reighlee and Bridger Glissmeyer.
You love to eat, you get super excited when I give you juice, and throw your cup in disgust if it's water.
You are terrified of vacuums.
You are a good napper (if someone holds you.)
You still haven't met your uncle Curtis-only a few more months.
You love to play with daddy, pull mom's hair, take baths (some times you give them to yourself.)
You have been caught splashing in the toilet too many times.
When you are done eating you throw your food on the floor for snack time "later."
You love to press buttons, plug in cords, turn off the power cords, and suck on plugs.
You are just starting to let us put shoes on you.
You finally got your first two teeth about two weeks before your birthday!
Since you started walking we have to keep the front door dead bolted because you have escaped a few times and took off running. 
You come on all of mom and dad's dates with us.
You wear pajamas everywhere because they cover your feet and you HATE socks.
You STILL hate to be covered by blankets.
Occasionally you sleep in your Buzzy Bed (aka the Toy Story Couch we got from Diapers.com- he absolutely loves it and it transforms into a couch.)
You like to play outside, though the weather hasn't been good enough yet. I cannot WAIT for it to get warm so I can put you on the back porch and let you play.
The doctor told daddy that you don't have an imagination yet, so you mimic-and you started mimicking us on the phone-it's our favorite!

We love you to the moon and back.

Looking at fishies with daddy.

You go on every date with us. We are lame.

You let yourself into the bath, and it was cold.

You "mimic" what we do, and like to "help."

You love to eat-we went and saw Wreck It Ralph in theaters this day.

Talking on the phone (or a lego, or your hand...)

One Year Old Shots :( Sore and Snuggling with Daddy.

Throwing a tantrum and hitting your hands on the floor.

Helping Yourself Into The Bath

Funny Faces (and relief that it's warm.)

Toy Story with a VERY patient daddy who has watched it sooo many times.