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Sunday, February 5, 2012

Emotional

The song from little rascals "You are so beautiful to me, can't you see, you're everything I hoped for..." came on today.

Total breakdown in Walgreens. Alligator tears. Grab my baby. Here comes crazy mommy. I had a full on emotional break down. I could never have imagined being so fulfilled, so full of love. He is everything I ever hoped for.

I have been so emotional! I can't even help it. I am so happy. So in love. So fulfilled. It's a miracle. This baby is a miracle.

He makes me feel complete joy. Bliss. At 2 am when I'm exhausted and I hear him whimper, I'm HAPPY. I'm overjoyed. I just want everyone to know him and see what an amazing sweet boy he is. I want them to feel this happiness.

Even Colton, who is notoriously ornery when woken up from sleep, wakes up with a smile and just helps his baby. Changes him with a smile when there is poop all over his legs and he is screaming and we are both so tired.

No greater love is possible. I know it.

He has made Colton and I stronger. He has made our love stronger. It's absolutely amazing.

He has brought my family so close. He has brought light into two extended families. There is so much love surrounding him and his birth. The way my parents look at him. The way Coltons parents look at him.

He is a miracle who I would not trade anything or any life for. People say that they don't want to give up their lives for children. They MAKE life. After having him for three days, Colton and I know we will have a bigger family then we ever planned. We couldn't imagine life any other way. Or any more worthwhile.

I am hopelessly in love. I'm totally enslaved by my love for this child. I hate having him away from me. When they took him for tests at the hospital. I was so anxious to have him back.

I cried my eyes out when he had to be circumcised or have blood drawn. He is too sweet to have pain. I hate to put him down even to sleep, I just want to hold him and watch every expression he makes. He's beautiful.

If you think I sound ridiculous and cheesy. I don't even slightly give a damn.

So, thats my emotional shpeel. Parents will understand, non-parents will scan it with bored thoughts. To them I say, One day you will know this kind of love.

Its magic.

If it's something you desire, and you are in the position to be a parent, with a loving partner, do it. Right now. It will work out. It is so worth it. Nothing is more worth it. Nothing you strive for will bring more happiness or joy. More meaning and value to life. It will make you feel whole. Don't wait for what you think is the right time, make it the right time. You will NEVER regret it.

If you are struggling to find the right time. Or considering it at all. Let it be right.

I love my boys. More than anything. I just want everyone to feel what I feel.

Whole.


1 comment:

  1. It truly is the most amazing feeling you will ever experience.

    ReplyDelete