Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Justin Bieber, May Induce Labor

On a lovely night of couch boredom, I put on Justin Bieber's "Never Say Never" from Netflix.
Colton whined about it for a while, finally settling down with some headphones and giving me a foot rub.
I got into the bath after it finished and within 20 minutes was experiencing extremely painful cramping on one side accompanied by nausea.

I am a baby.
I stayed in the bath, re-running the water over and over until it went cold (which takes a lot), moaning and screeching and crying.
Colton went into freak out mode.

"What can I do, what should I do."

"Clean the toilet and sinks please."

(That seemed important.)

He does this without question.

"Do you want me to call into work?"
"Should I put the chicken breasts back in the freezer?"

(He begins throwing hair gel, teddy bears and razors into a bag.)

I tell him to make our bed.

He continues to throw together bags, tidy up our mostly clean house, and run in and out of the room.
I call my mom.

Colton runs in, frantically, "Do you want a hotdog."

"NO."  (My mom asks who i'm yelling at, probably to tell me to be nice.)

"Mom, Colton just asked if I want a hotdog.

She laughs.

And so it goes. Colton helps me out of the bath, and finds my most comfy "pregnant pj's." He brushes my wet hair out, packs my bag, and begins to mess with the car seat.

I get in my bed and lay down, much to his disappointment. Putting a heating pad on the part of my abdomen that is on fire. I also call the nurse and she tells me to come in if i'm in too much pain, because it sounds like labor.

I decide not to be a wimp, as its snowing outside, and settle down onto the couch, turning on Cake Boss. My cramps start to subside, and I ask Colton for Chocolate Milk and 6 Chicken Nuggets. Microwaved for 90 seconds. With fry sauce.

He bakes them. A whole tray full.
NOT 6.
He then eats most of them.
Makes another tray.

By now i'm exhausted and sore from all the cramps.
I crawl into bed, much to Colton's dismay.
(He did NOT want to go to work the next day, he wanted a baby.)

I cuddle up on Colton's shoulder, finally finding a position that is comfy.
Colton is out in two minutes flat, whining about being "uncomfy" and asking me to move.
(I think I told him to shut up...ha.)
I have contractions all night, no sleep whatsoever.
I entertain myself with my Iphone, jumping between, scrabble, phase 10, facebook, pinterest, craigslist baby ads and baby blogs-occasionally turning on a book on tape.

No sleep. 2 More baths. A lot of Chocolate raisins.
And i'm still awake when Colton wakes up for work.
The cramping now feels like a bruise that I can rub out.
Contractions are there, but weak.

And I finally fall asleep. Only to be woken up over and over by the five most random people wanting to know how I am and if there's any news on baby.

I love me some false alarms.

I'm starting to get nervous because with all this snow, calling my mom and saying "baby is coming" scares me to death. I get nervous going across town to the hospital, she has to drive three hours worth of canyons. Many which are closed down. So let's hope this babe has good timing.


  1. Ah stubborn little man! Not fun! I'm praying for you Mary! I hope it all goes well when it does happen! I keep checking your blog to see if he has made his appearance! I'm anxiously waiting! :)

  2. I was expecting to get to the end and find you sitting in a hospital bed, dilated to 4 cm! Sheesh woman!