Friday, April 20, 2012

Post Pregnancy Symptoms

6!things I totally didn't expect after pregnancy:

1. Excessive sleep sweating.
Every time I wake up from a nap, whether it's hot, cold, blankets on, off, etc. I am DRENCHED in sweat. My whole body is on fire. Colton will be completely covered in blankets and I will have shed everything of and be next to an open window and I am still soaked! Does anyone else have this problem?

2. Exhaustion.
Okay, yes, I should have expected this.
And I did expect to be tired. But I am flat out exhausted all the time. I used to have to listen to a book on tape for an hour before I could fall asleep.
Now: I shut my eyes and wake up an hour later totally confused. I have been listening to the same book on tape for 3 months. I literally comprehend about two minutes worth of the book before I am out. It's the kind of exhaustion where I never feel refreshed. I shut my eyes when he is babbling himself to sleep, and wake up with him babbling to himself because he is hungry and awake and I cannot figure out why he won't sleep (oh, 3 hours have passed?...dang.)

3. Unstretched Stretch Marks Look Like Horrible Scars:
Call me Simba. Roar. They are awful. They are deep, they are thick and they basically make my stomach look like a shriveled octopus head. If you think stretch marks are bad when the baby is in, wait until he is out. All I can say is, anti-stretch mark lotion, is a load of crap.

4. Extreme weight gain:
I gained very little for most of my pregnancy. I was all baby. And then, bam. I gained a TON right at the end. Thank you eight pound baby. And now, I feel like I don't have the time, or energy to work it off. Better still, diets are a no no because I'm breastfeeding. It just sucks.

Colton goes to the gym everyday, and he is Mr. six pack despite the fact that he eats junk 24/7 (a whole pizza, 2 am.) I probably should make him stay home with Tai and use that time to go to the gym myself :) I just decided this as I was typing.

We are trying to eat healthier. This morning i made oatmeal banana breakfast bars. He looked at them in disgust until I told him I found it off an MMA fighters diet website. (aka pinterest.) He ate that stuff up. Don't judge me.

5. Bigger boobs:
I have always had a big chest. But when I tried to put on a jacket that was too big for me before I was pregnant, and it was 8 inches away from buttoning over my chest, I about had a meltdown. I couldn't believe my body had changed that much! This was after pulling up pants that wouldn't even go past my thighs! Ugh.

6. Goodbye, Hygiene:
There are days when Colton comes home from work and I'm still in my pajamas. I have puke, pee, drool and food on me, and I haven't touched my hair. Literally he walks in the door some nights and I say "oh good you are here! Shower time!" I relish the five minutes I spend washing my hair and the ten minutes after that when I'm perfectly clean. (yes, it only lasts for ten minutes.) Some days I will bathe with Tai, and not wash my hair at all because I can't hold him and wash my hair at the same time-then he gets cold and needs to be taken out.

Shoot, there are even some days when tai will not let me put him down and will not nap. Days where Colton comes home on his lunch break and I beg him to hold the baby while I brush my teeth and get breakfast.

At the end of the day, despite feeling fat and dirty and exhausted, he is worth every second of my time. I might have a messy house and look like hell, but I have a happy baby. I have a little boy who smiles at everything, and talks to me and loves his mama. I have a little boy who I absolutely adore and who is already too big! It's true what they say, babies grow up, cleaning can wait.

I will get the hang of it all eventually, but I never want it to be at the expense of Tai. Colton can eat frozen pizza everyday if it means I can snuggle my little boy just a few minutes longer.

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