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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Grateful. Seriously Grateful.

I grew up in an LDS family. I knew wrong from right. I knew what was expected of me.I was always the easy child. I came home two hours before curfew, preferred being at home to going out, and always kept track of my own life. Scholarship, jobs, housing, rent. From the moment I graduated I was on top of it. I made it through my associates degree on a full ride academic scholarship, housing scholarship, leadership scholarship and pageant scholarships. I literally got paid to go to school.

I had started dating Colton in March of 2009, when I was a freshman in college. He was a little rough around the edges. A non-member music major (which I rank right up there with Art majors as a "what the hell can you do with that major", majors) with a couple tattoos, a love of death metal, MMA, and electric guitar. He was a great friend to me, we talked a lot. And then love happened. Oh Crap.

This goes back to what they tell you in Sunday School. You marry who you date. Best advice I could ever give. You don't fall for a guy, realize he can't take you to the temple and then dump him. Not easily at least. If you do end it for religion, its hard as HELL. If you don't, it's hard as HELL. Not when you are head over heels. That is the biggest heartbreak you can go through. You either don't start, or you finish differently then you ever planned. That's the only thing you can plan on.

Long story short, when you love someone, and you are LDS, and you know they can't take you to the temple, its tough. You end up dating, and dating, and dating...and never going anywhere because the pressure to do it "the right way" is too hard. And then you end up screwing up even more.

And then babies happen. :)

When I told my parents I was pregnant, my little brother had just left on a mission to Samoa. We are talking a few DAYS before. My dad especially was really missing him, and was already going through a hard time. So this little number was definitely a land mine.

A big one.

It was a lot to deal with. But my parents were amazing through it all. My mom was amazingly supportive, making doctors appointments and making sure I was eating right. My dad took...awhile. But never made me feel like he was angry at me. He just was quiet, and thoughtful. He was scared to death of the what if's. He is finally starting to come around, mostly because he has seen how supportive and dedicated Colton is to his son, and to me. We are really, really blessed.

2 comments:

  1. Mary: Vic and I just want to let you know how much we love you and Colton and how much we love you two together! Congrats on the little baby! He's going to be such a cutie and your going to be an AMAZING mother! Thank you for sharing your story with us, we've appreciated everything you said! Seriously. Text/call us anytime! We'd love to hear from you or help if ya need anything!
    "your the bomb"-from Vic
    ♥ Madi & Vic!

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  2. Mary: ya know what? Its OKAY that you didn't go in order. You are working things out, and you are happy! That counts for something. I am so excited for you! You are due so soon!! I can't believe how well you've managed to keep this a secret- well done. Haha love the blog :)

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