Alright so this is Colton. I have always a firm opponent of blogging and all that stuff but Mary has convinced me I need to at least say a few things on here. Hopefully I don't mess it up.... I don't have the eloquence Mary does when it comes to describing this whole baby thing but hopefully someone who reads this likes it. Mostly though Im doing this for my son for when he is old enough to understand and appreciate it. What you do today echoes into eternity and I want to leave him something from me. Maybe a blog isn't the best place for that but at least its something.
Its strange how much life has changed for me in these past few months. I look back at who I was and what was important to me even 6 months ago and it all seems so trivial and material. I spent all my money on Mexican food and new tattoos. I was more concerned about who I was going to hang out with after work than planning a future for myself. School didn't really matter...nothing really mattered. Life was just going by day to day and I was trying to convince myself that it was good enough.
Then out of nowhere I find out Im going to be a father. Ill be honest with you all...at first its something I never wanted for myself or Mary...at least not at that time in my life. Its a drastic change when you go from having almost no responsibility in your life to having the most important thing you could ever imagine come into it. It scared me. I wasn't ready for it, neither was Mary. Sometimes I still think about if I am ready or not.
Things didn't start off well with this pregnancy and for a long time Mary and I were not even speaking. Though as time went on I realized that I was going to be a daddy and I wasn't going to mess it up. In my heart I knew that this little baby was more important than anything and I wanted to be there for him. He deserves it.
He will always deserve it. So time went on and things got better because I decided to open up and change myself for my son to have a future and so I could give him the best I could. Things were hard and Mary and I have had a rocky road to travel but we are doing it together and we are doing it because we love each other and more importantly we love Tai.
Fast forward and now Baby Tai is only 9 weeks away from his debut and my world has flipped around and really its been one of the hardest things I have had to do. Nothing could have been more worth it. These past 7 months I feel like I have grown up more than any other time in my life. Im so proud to be father and so excited to be dad...does that make sense?
Anyway, I feel like I have said more than enough and if you are still reading....thanks
Colton
Sunday, November 27, 2011
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