Friday, June 1, 2012

Moving On..Moving Out

We had to make a really tough decision this last month, and decided to move away from our first apartment and life as we knew it.

It has been an amazing and exciting journey in Cedar City. We have made amazing friends, conquered a lot of obstacles, and most importantly we met our little boy.

We made the decision suddenly. We felt like we were very stagnant with life, living paycheck by paycheck, paying bills, but not saving anything. Colton was getting less and less hours at Walgreens, the job he really loved as a CNA wasn't producing anymore hours and 3 jobs would have been really hard to juggle. I wasn't going to school because we wanted him taking classes, but even that was looking out of the question because Walgreens wouldn't work with his schedule and it changed weekly.

He got offered a position to switch to the Heber Walgreens, and also got offered a position working nights at Walmart stocking shelves. The job he wanted most was as a full time CNA at a nice Assisted living home near Heber, but they still needed to interview. I also got offered a full time position working in the gift shop at the local railroad. So it seemed like everything was coming along great. He put in his two week notices, and we let our landlords know that we were leaving.

Within days we were packing up our entire lives and leaving everything that we had built and come to know as a couple in this little town. I really felt sad about the situation. I went back and forth and never knew if we were making the right decision. It came down to staying for some friends we really loved, and being very independent, but far from family, or being near family and trying to make new friends.

It got really hard towards the end. Job offers started pouring in suddenly, and it seemed like everything was going against us to move, but we had to take a leap of faith.

We spent the last days having dinners with friends and visiting everyone. The last night we had a BBQ with our very closest friends the Snyders. They had just moved into a little house and I couldn't help but feel so sad. Whitney was such a good friend to me, a genuine friend who helped with Tai so so much, and was there for me when I needed someone. Mic was Colton's roommate at Snow and Colton really enjoyed seeing him. We would always plan date nights and it became the highlight of my week to go see movies in empty theatres, or play games and eat food. They were the ones we trusted with Tai, and who were at the hospital the first day he was born. Honestly, they out of everything and everyone else made it so hard to leave. Looking at their new little house, I kept feeling like, that could have been us, if it all had just worked out or we had waited a little longer, it would have all worked out.

As I stood in our empty apartment and looked around at the empty rooms, I couldn't help but feel so heartbroken. I thought about bringing our little boy home for the first time. All the nights we spent just staring at him and enjoying our family and our life. I thought about all our firsts. Our first real apartment. Our home. Our stuff. We took down Tai's nursery piece by piece and it really did hurt. You pull down memories. All the anticipation of having him, and bringing him home for the first time to HIS room and HIS window and where he first took a bathe in his little sink. To the little bar where we sat and made dinner, or had date nights with friends.

It was so hard. I think it's always hard to leave that place of firsts. Where our first little boy was born. The place we brought him into. The little two bedroom apartment in the middle of town where we brought him home. Where we called home. MaTai will always be a little Cedar City boy.

As we drove away, I leaned on Colton's shoulder and felt sad. As we drove out of town and onto the freeway, everything seemed so bittersweet. The place where we grocery shopped, the little diner we went on the very occasional date, our best friends home, and the University where I planned to graduate from in May.

It's crazy how life changes, it is such a rollercoaster, but I think that it will be worth it. We are near family, we have amazing jobs, we are making so much more money, and our schedules are stable. I am close to great friends, and the town I called home for 18 years. It is all going to be okay, it's just a transition.

A hard, bittersweet transition.
It will be okay.
Saying Goodbye to the old house..
Our First Kitchen
First Apartment... #42
We may even miss the psycho chain smoker...
View From Our Porch
Tai's Room, all emptied out.
Our Hallway
Tai being a horrible mover. Haha. We could not get him to settle down and resorted to this to be able to pack.

No comments:

Post a Comment