Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Baby #2

Baby #2 was quite honestly a lot of back and forth between Colton and I.

-Colton has had this long time fear of not being able to love another child the way he loves Tai, which has made it hard for him to even want to consider having another child.

-My pregnancy with Tai was HARD. It was emotional, it was draining, it was scary and lonely and we were really trying to figure out life at that point. We were trying to build a better relationship with each other, while preparing to be parents and being completely broke. We were far from family, far from friends and going through something where we needed so much support but didn't feel like we could take it. Because of this Colton especially related me being pregnant to something very, very hard.

-Colton was worried about the effects pregnancy would have on my body. I spent a lot of time sleeping during my first pregnancy with Tai. I was sick, I was uncomfortable, I was scared and I was lonely. Looking back I don't think I dealt with a lot of my symptoms or even had an understanding of why I was feeling the way I felt. I was really nauseous, so I didn't eat-so I had no energy. If I got headaches, I would sleep them off. It was uncomfortable for me to sit and so I spent a lot of time in bed. I spent a huge portion of my pregnancy at home by myself while Colton worked multiple jobs.

-Colton wanted me to be in a healthier state physically before we had another baby. I gained so much weight after I had Tai, and he knew I couldn't put any additional weight on my body without the effects being harsh.

Despite all that, he knew I was aching to have another baby. He knew that I wanted Tai to have a sibling. We talked about it, talked about it some more. Agreed on a time frame. Talked some more. I think what finally altered everything was his last MMA fight. He saw how much I sacrificed and supported him to do something he was passionate about. And he knew how strongly I felt about having another baby. He basically said "I know this is your dream, I think it's a good time." That was in December.

To be continued...

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