To Work...Or Not To Work

I am torn.

Colton is working about 60 hours a week right now, doing everything he can to make ends meet. I am on family medical leave, until I decide (if I decide) to go back to work.

Here's the thing.
I HATE my job. I work for a company called Convergy's (usually just the name results in a unanimous "oh..." or a groan. "That place." Most people have a cousin, sister, aunt, friend, ex who worked there at one point or another. It's a call center, inbound calls, AT&T. So when you call someone because your cell phone isn't working, and you scream at them, that's me on the other end. It's fabulous. Thanks, by the way.

I don't really mind the actual job. I can help people, I can be nice, I can solve problems. It's just the constant CHANGE that is absolutely unbearable. Just when you get used to certain expectations, they add new ones. When I started, it was simple, inbound customer service. Period. There was a lot of time between calls, it was relaxed. Awesome. Then things, they start changing. Some of us are then asked to voluntarily switch to selling a TV service. Commission, no pressure. Easy.

Then they mandate sales. If you don't offer, it's a write up. Then the whole floor is forced to sell, but you can choose what product you are comfortable selling. Fine. I am good at upgrading service, I can do that. Then all the sudden I am "Too Good" at upgrading, and they are forcing me to move to selling new products. So I do good at my job, they screw me over with something I don't want to do. They literally changed company rules so that they could force me to sell.

Then, to make things less complicated, the whole center is moved to selling. You must offer on every call.  You must push people even if they don't want a product. Sell Sell Sell. That's the motto. Just when you think they can't mandate anything else. They do. They can now fire you for not selling. Doesn't matter if you make a great offer, push it for an hour, get close, if you don't sell them tv service, it's a write up. If you do sell, but you don't sell them ENOUGH, that's a write up too.

They no longer work with school schedules, they are pushing mandatory overtime (so I go from 30 hours a week to 40+ with school) they don't do schedule changes, swaps or make exceptions. You have a doctors note? Cool, you are still getting written up.

I haven't worked since October. Between being so sick all the time, exhausted, moody, and adjusting to a new life, I just couldn't take it anymore. I'm still technically employed, I could go back tomorrow if I wanted to, but I don't. "I just can't want to."

It doesn't help that my Team Leader has changed 5 times in the last 4 months. So every time one understands my situation, I get a phone call "introducing" themselves, because my old team leader got fired for this or that (they are huge fans of firing people for not making sales.) It doesn't help that all my friends who worked there are now gone, fired for attendance, quit because of unreasonable expectations, tired of being written up for ever changing rules.

Sounds like I should quit, right?

But i'm also stubborn. I like having a back up. I like the idea of going back if I need to. With that job, Colton
and I can live quite comfortably, without it, we are barely making ends meet. I know I can find something better for me after I'm ready to go back to work, after Tai is born, I haven't tried finding anything new because honestly, who hires someone that is 6 months pregnant? So for now it's an inner battle.

Colton brought it up again last night.

"Babe, you just need to quit, let go of the stress of that job. Tai is gonna be here in a month, just spend the time relaxing and nesting and getting ready for him, I don't mind working long hours to have you home."

To this I reply something about extra income, and he says "what extra income, you haven't worked in months, you've been on bed rest,  you rarely leave the house, you don't even like to drive."

I then struggle to adjust on my seat, and make a whimpering noise because my tailbone KILLS.

Colton responds "exactly." You barely can sit up without being in pain, there's no way you are going to be able to sit 8 hours a day, talking to angry people in your hormonal state. You will get written up for something stupid and will have a complete break down. Not only that but you being under stress isn't good for our little guy, quit. Right now. Quit."

At this point he mentions egging, peeing on, and lighting Convergy's on fire. (He worked there too, left such a bad taste in his mouth he doesn't even want me associating with them, HA.)

So again, i'm torn. It's a good paying job. I could make an extra $2000 dollars before baby comes, which when living on a tight budget is a lot of money. But I just don't know if it's worth it. If the stress is worth it. If being in physical pain for 8 hours a day when i'm already exhausted is worth it.

And now my sweetie is home, he just screamed that our house smells "AMAZING" (BBQ chicken sandwiches in the crockpot. :) and is mumbling about work.

Have a good day :)