Sometimes Good Things Fall Apart...

It's been 1 year. 8 months. 21 days. Since I last wrote in my blog.

1 year, 8 months ago, I was working at my "dream job" with my "dream coworkers."
I had just signed the papers for a home I would never have dreamed of purchasing.
I felt untouchable.

And then I got let go.

To say that it came as a shock would be an understatement.

I was leading my team.
I was good at my job.
I had a lot of great friends that I worked with.
I LOVED my job.
This was my CAREER. I wasn't going anywhere.

Looking back at what happened to me, what was "done" to me, still hurts.
I had JUST signed on my house two weeks before.
My company had let quite a few people go because of budget issues, but my supervisor swore up and down that I was safe. That I should sign the house papers.

"If I had to let go of 12 people today (our team had 15) you wouldn't be one of them. Go get that house!"

And then he got let go. And it was Valentines day. And when the flower delivery guy dropped off my Valentine's roses, I was crying. (And he probably thought I hated my husband.) I was crying for the uncertainty. I was crying over losing a good supervisor.

We got brought into a meeting. A meeting where they told us that they would give severance checks to anyone who didn't feel like this was a good fit for them. They encouraged us to think it over and come talk to them.

I immediately pulled my boss aside. I needed to confirm that I was still okay to take my time off the next day, and let him know I wasn't interested in leaving.

"I am so glad you pulled me aside" he said, "I don't think this is a good fit for you either."

What?

I was leading the team that month.
Every single meeting I had with my supervisor was full of praise.

I left that meeting in tears. I walked in confident and left thinking I didn't have a job.

I talked to my coworkers.
"No way they would let you go."
"You are leading the team, you have a great book of business."

I went home in tears. In shock.
It was Valentines day.
Colton had planned a night out at a fancy dinner where he was friends with the chef.
And all I could do was cry.

We drove to Denver the next day. I had a meeting with a tv producer that I couldn't miss.
It was our first non-baby vacation and I was miserable the whole time.

I got back on Monday, scared to death. We immediately got pulled into a meeting, where we were told "good news." They wanted to keep everyone. They weren't doing any cuts. Everyone was there for a reason. "Mary and I had a great chat last week, and I'm really excited to work with all of you."

I felt like I had dodged a bullet.
I called Colton and said "everything is okay, they aren't laying anyone off!"

Later that day my supervisor came in and asked for copies of my weekly supervisor notes.  He said that my direct supervisor had taken his notes with him when he got let go and that they were trying to get copies from everyone. I didn't think much of it, collected my notes (the only copies I had) and gave them to him.

That evening, he asked if we could sit down and continue our conversation from last week. I was happy to oblige and didn't think anything of it. I was certain we would be discussing moving forward and how to improve my work.

My boss immediately started the meeting "Mary, how has your month been going so far?"
"Great" I said. "I'm over goal, leading the team, and expect to have a great week next week. 55 out of my 60 doctors have mailed this month."

"Wow" he said. "That's an incredible book of business you have. You have worked really hard to get it where it is."

And then he proceeded to tell me that "things had changed" and they "needed to let someone go."

That someone was me.

I was told I wasn't good at my job. That it wasn't a good fit for me. That I had "multiple write ups" and that my previous supervisor had reported multiple disciplinary actions against me. When I asked for proof of these, they said they simply "didn't have them." But the decision had been made.

I was then given a severance check. And asked to sign a paper saying I wouldn't sue.

Because you always pay severance to an employee who is being let go for multiple write ups.

I walked out in tears. My coworkers were shocked. Many of them objected on my behalf.
How do you let go the only girl on the team when she is one of those leading it?

I received a text from my boss later that night. He was so sorry about what had happened. He felt terrible. He had been in tears ever since it happened.

He couldn't wait for the day the that he ran into me, and I told him how much better I was doing.
He offered to fix my resume. He told me he had connections at any good business I wanted to get into. He would give me a reference. He would write my letter of recommendation.

To say that it was a nightmare is an understatement.
I knew that I had been let go for the wrong reasons.
I knew that I had been lied to.
And my family was the one taking the hit for it.
I couldn't even enjoy my new house, because I couldn't afford it.

I heard stories for weeks after that. About how the CEO didn't even know I had been let go.
The VP was furious when he heard. Multiple employees had called out management for basically screwing me over.

But I never got a call.

I never got an explanation.

And I was too heartbroken to write about it.
I was embarrassed. I was angry. I was hurt.

At the end of the day, the company wasn't doing as well as they pretended. They were letting people go left and right, and spending money on frivolous things to appear wealthy.

Since then, almost every single person that I worked with has been let go for one reason or the other. Some of my dearest friends have been replaced as they built new houses, moved cities and brought babies into the world.

I know now that it was inevitable. There was nothing that I could have done to keep my position, and it was all just a matter of time.

{To be continued...}